Family. Haha it's fun being us again! It's weird and I longer care. That's life and I love it.

Family. Haha it's fun being us again! It's weird and I'm no longer

We're all better than we think we are, dont let someone elses insecurities bring out your own, know that youre beautiful and that you deserve everything. Or at least fake it till you make it

(forgive the grammar errors, i dont have the patience to care)

I feel like a dying artist, somber melodies playing in a silent room barely touched by the fading light from the sun. Work desk cluttered with a mixture of memorabilia and assorted candy trapped in orange bottles with white caps, giving you not a sugar rush but a relief from days of pain. Waves of uneasy chills roll up and down my body without stopping forcing me to wear gloves, old sweatshirts and baggy sweatpants. The house is an empty one family is gone doing what they do best, entertaining everybody but themselves. Do not misunderstand my meaning, there is no grip of melancholy feelings here, just observations. I will not let this slow me down, infection breaksdown the body, not the soul. i promise you this, an illustration i will have by the end of this day, one that will bring tears of love not of sorrow.

I keep people at a distance so that they cant hurt me but you've snuck in. Youre here and as much as i want to keep you out with everyone else, i just cant, i hate this feeling. I cant sleep without thinking of you, think of anything else but you or talk to people wishing that it was you. Goddammit, i feel like a 13 year old girl with a highschool crush. I told myself constantly im not a relationship person, i dont need anybody and the only thing i need in my life is my work but all that means nothing now, all i can think about is you. UGH FML. I wish i didnt feel this way but im so happy that i do.

the things that have been making me angry have been completely my fault

(Karl Lagerfeld)

I've been thinking for the past couple of months that i want to be the next Karl Lagerfeld, genius in the subjects of fashion design (Chanel), photography and art all together. He i sloved by everyone and there is not one person in the world who wouldnt agree that he is the master at what he does. His only love in life is his work which makes him single and if that were my fate i would take it because i love those three fields that much.

However. I just finished watching Nick and Norah's infinite playlist.

Ridiculous huh? But just hear me out. I know i've always been a firm believer in love and a hopeless romantic. These past two months i think i know why i havent found any person who interests me, its because i closed my heart to people and opened it to art, music, fashion and such. I dont want to go too far into it, but i do know that Im young right now and i will not always be young. So, Karl my friend, you can wait for now because right now love is tugging at me and i think it would be wise to follow it.

We're young. Why are we going to deny our hearts love? For what? Partying? Sex? If you had the opportunity to fall in love, wouldnt you take it? Just remember, the only person stopping you from finding love is you. Open your hearts and you will find exactly what you want.